The name CARE stands for Connect, Attune, Restore, Engage — four qualities that help create safe, respectful maternity care. The cards invite care providers to connect with you, attune to your needs, help restore a sense of trust, and engage with you as part of the same team.

For women with a history of trauma, these elements can make a meaningful difference. Respectful, connected care is shown to reduce the risk of traumatic birth experiences. My hope is that Care Cards help more women access the kind of supportive, compassionate care that allows them to feel safe, empowered, and deeply held throughout their birth journey.

For many women with a history of trauma, unexpected touch can feel overwhelming, and a simple request like this can create a moment of pause and connection before anything begins.

Because this was my priority, the first pre‑written cards all use this message. It offers a clear, respectful boundary that supports safety and understanding in a wide range of situations.

If this wording doesn’t feel right for you, you’re warmly invited to explore a personalised option. We can work together — either live or through a private written process — to find the words that feel true to your needs and your experience.

It can feel disappointing when someone doesn’t respond with the sensitivity you were hoping for. If this happens, you might choose to gently restate your need, ask a support person to advocate for you, or (if possible and necessary) request a different care provider. The card is a tool to support you, not a guarantee of someone else’s behaviour — but many women find that it opens the door to more understanding conversations.

Yes. This is one of the moments when Care Cards can be especially helpful. Labour can be intense, and many women find it hard to speak or advocate for themselves. A Care Card gives your care team a clear, respectful message even when you’re focused inward.

Yes. Many partners, support people and doulas appreciate having something tangible to help them advocate for you. They can hand the card to new staff, remind the team of your needs, or help ensure your boundaries are respected when you’re not able to speak easily.

It happens. You can keep a few cards in different places — your bag, your birth folder, your car, or with your partner. If you forget one, you can still express your needs verbally or show a digital version if you’ve chosen that option.

No. A birth plan or birth map outlines your preferences and decisions for labour and birth. A Care Card communicates one specific need that helps you feel safe. They work beautifully together — the birth map covers the big picture, while the Care Card supports your emotional safety in the moment.

Your Care Card is yours to share when and how you choose. The cards don’t contain any personal or identifying information, so if you misplace one, it can’t be linked back to you. Once you hand a card to a care provider, it may become part of your clinical notes depending on the policies of the hospital or practice. If privacy feels important to you, you’re always welcome to ask how they plan to use or record the information on the card.

If the pre‑written message doesn’t feel quite right for you, you’re warmly invited to explore a personalised option. Many women choose wording that reflects their own needs, boundaries, or experiences. Together, we can shape a message that aligns with the CARE principles while staying true to your voice and what helps you feel supported.

Not at all. You never need to share the details of your past for a Care Card to support you. The card is designed to communicate what helps you feel safe right now, without requiring you to revisit anything you don’t want to talk about.

No. You never owe anyone your story. The card communicates what you need without requiring you to justify it.

Your needs are allowed to change. Care Cards are designed to share a message that will help you to feel safe in a wide variety of situations, however, if you wish to update the wording we can always codesign an additional card

Absolutely. Care Cards are for anyone who wants clearer communication, more consent, or a greater sense of safety during maternity care.

No. Many people use them in other settings — medical appointments, dental visits, physiotherapy, massage, yoga, or any situation where clear communication helps them feel more comfortable.

You’re not alone — many women feel unsure at first. If you’d like support, you can choose a personalised option. We can work together, either live or through a private written process, to find wording that feels true to your needs.